Sunday, June 4, 2017

Trash Bin: JUNIOR (1994)


Welcome to another installment of the TRASH BIN, where we watch the worst movies Hollywood has to offer, according to the critics, and give you our thoughts, good or bad. This week's pick is the 1994 Arnold Schwarzenegger film...JUNIOR.

Hello Kiddies, your pal the cupid critic here! Have you ever thought about what would happen if a guy got pregnant? Well imagine if that guy was Arnold Schwarzenegger, pretty funny right? Wrong!
As part of a fertility research project, a male scientist, played by Schwarzenegger, agrees to carry a child in his own body.

Now, let me explain to you how an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie is made. "Hey, studio executive, I have an idea for a movie. A movie or a poster. Well, a poster, I guess. I see Arnold Schwarzenegger with a toy gun, no a baby, no wait...he's pregnant!" "Okay go on." "He's got a huge belly and everything and he's like what? I'm pregent. That doesn't happen." "That is true, that doesn't happen. And we can have that short guy from Twins cause Arnold was in Twins, but it's not Twins. And lets get a British female."  Yeah.

The movie has one goal, be funny, which it is not and apparently this is a romance/drama film, as to how I have no idea. But I honestly believe that its primary goal at the time was to be a cool poster. The story does sound interesting for a comedy, but apparently there are moments where you're suppose to take the situation seriously, which baffles me. I mean, come on, it's Arnold Schwarzenegger with a baby, I should be laughing my ass off.

Can you guess what this movie is...boring. I mean, it's bad when I'm actually praying for it to be insenstive and insulting. Maybe then we can actually get some humor across. I guess the actors are alright and Arnold doesn't come across as half bad in this, but that's the problem, we want him to be bad in this.

CRITICS' SCORES:

Rotten Tomatoes: 34%
IMDb: 4.6/10
Common Sense Media: 2/5

EDDIE'S SCORE: 1/10


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